We used to be a pretty unorganized bunch of people!

by Andra Toian - Contributing Writer

Women and men of the Germanic tribes must have looked like one always imagines: blond, tall and blue eyed. We lived in small camps – maybe of 200 people – in the northern parts of Europe which were called 'Germania' by the Greeks and Romans- areas that today are known as Scandinavia, Poland, Germany, The Netherlands and Belgium. They were dark, wet and full of trees.

We did not know 'a city' or any other organized way of living and fighting together, so we also did not have any kind of religion – like for example the Romans had. They installed Christianity during the times where the cities were developed and along with them the basic idea of organizing a huge amount of people and bring prosperity and safety to them - and actually making them governable. The Germanic tribes/camps did not need a religion or to be governed in a Roman sense. And also their fighting style was supposed to be pretty chaotic, which is hard to imagine when we look at the Germans playing soccer these days. The Romans had tough times with us during their period of 'conquering the world'. They never made it across the two rivers that used to be our borders (Rhein & Donau). So we remained the bunch of people who we always were, and the folks who were in contact with us called us the 'Barbarians' for being godless and fighting in unpredictable ways - and who knows, maybe we were still dressed in dead animals.

Some of us visited the Romans from time to time and found something pretty astonishing: They bloody had swimming pools! Heated swimming pools! And water-systems throughout their cities that kind of automatically took away the trash! And also they wrote down their stories and made plans! That was when we thought 'we better get things going'! We wanted to have pools too! And clothes made of fabric!Some of our tribes sent soldiers away to the Romans, which were very welcome in their armys, because of their size and their 'unorganized courage' (so I have read) they probably fought all day and night as long as they knew there would be beer and a party at the end of it!

But many of us actually packed their bags and went on huge journeys and met up with other tribes. During the years 300-600 AD there was a Germanic mass migration. Almost all tribes went on to look for other grounds. It is hard to say why, because we did not write down our stuff, like other smart people did, but most probably Germania was just too difficult to cultivate in an agricultural sense. Imagine all those trees! They all had to be cut down… and the sun did not shine too long and too hot. 

Some of the names of the tribes are still well known today: The Bourgundies (today make whine in France), the Frisians (the guys who think the North Sea is actually fun), the Vandals (have a pretty bad reputation in Germany), the Lombards (are still dealing with money issues at the border to the former Roman empire) - the Huns, by the way, where Asians who ran across Europe and killed people!

And some of the tribes became famous because they founded new kingdoms: the Angels and Saxons (from northern Germany, Holland and Denmark) went across the channel and invaded an Island that is today called England. The Franconians travelled south and stopped only at the Pyrenees. Actually the Franconians were once a huge and successful tribe and still are in a way: They founded Franconia which consisted of bigger parts of today's France and Germany. This kingdom was divided in 843. France remained as 'one kingdom' and prospered in it's way, while the northern part of the kingdom was considered as 'an area', but was still a very fragmented collection of smaller kingdoms.

We stayed that way and messed around in our kingdoms and over the time also fought over religions until the 19th century. 

After Napoleon ran over all of Europe to spread his idea of a republic, in 1815 at the Congress of Vienna we were officially called 'The German Confederation' and we were told to pull ourselves together, for Christ's sake! (I forgot to mention that we were by then a little bit more organized and actually produced a guy who translated the bible into something that everyone could read (Martin Luther) – so, in a way we were ready to be organized! And also we produced a couple of guys who could write pretty well – Goethe and Schiller for example.)

In 1871 we were offcially called a nation: The German Empire, a kingdom ruled by a Prussian King from the capital Berlin.

Like our neighbours at our sides we then – being called an empire and probably feeling that way – started to spread out into the world – not as far and successful as Spain, France or England, but we gathered four colonies: Namibia, Kongo, Togo and parts of today's Kenia and Tanzania. We lost those colonies in World War 1 (1914-18).

Germany tried to establish a democracy during the years 1919-33 and like the rest of the world we fell into the Great Depression in the late 1920s and on top of that had to pay a ridiculously high and in reality 'unpayable' amount of money to the countries we lost the war to. Huge amounts of people lived in poverty and/or had no work and the streets were full of disorientated, angry and also starving people who wanted things to be differently, who stole things and who injured or killed people. 

In 1933, after a few politically very unstable years, with chancellors changing every couple of month or even weeks, we voted for a guy who loudly and clearly promised us to get the unemployed and the criminals off the streets and the pride back into the country. These three factors: instability, starvation and pride made us stumble into a severe dictatorship. But we did not see ourselves stumbling - we actually wanted Hitler and he did get the homeless off the streets and started to build up the nation in a pretty bold way. The years 1933-39 were actually called 'the good years'. But what he also did right after being elected and what nobody saw coming were two things: Within only four month (Feb-July 1933) Hitler as a chancellor dissolved the democratic system of parties that had existed for the last three years. And he did that after 'someone' burnt down our 'Reichstag' (the huge building with the glass bubble on top you can see on the news from Berlin). He let the president sign an 'emergency law' that was supposed to bring order into that chaos. The law wiped out major parts of our constitution and all of our fundamental rights. Hitler was allowed to put in jail whoever he wanted. He started with the communist members of parliament: They all went to concentration camps and were unable to show up in parliament. Hitler and his party now had a majority of over 2/3 in parliament and was able to dissolve the whole political system. The governmant from then on was able to produce laws without the parliament. Hitler dissolved all parties but his own and forbade the communist and the socialist party. By then it was impossible to get rid of him in a politically legal way. He was during his election being entirely underestimated by everyone and nobody thought that a single person could pull off something like that.

I have read that many of the people and politicians during the year 1933 were 'happy to be released' from the political pressure and responsibility, from the not functioning democracy that we had and from the chaotic happenings in the streets across the whole country. It is very difficult to understand how many, many politicians could have 'signed a constitution away' – even if it was only meant to be for four years until the next election. If you guys are curious about this, read 'Sebastian Haffner'. He is the only guy I found who wrote books that really capture the emotional atmosphere Germany was in during that time. Those intense atmospheres in dramatic economical situations are very important when it comes to decisions over who is going to rule a country.

To make it short: There were many people who made glorious carreers under Hitlers rule, there were people who could flee – many did for various reasons, there were many people who suffered enormously, but were not hunted/only had to be very careful to not say something against Hitler to the wrong person, and there were many people who were hunted down and killed – mostly minorities. And that was before the war! I don't know how many people were killed during the war. Millions.

Our only option over the years was to kill Hitler, and quite a lot of us – fairly unknown – tried to, but nobody succeded.

The plans Hitler had for the time after 'Germany conquered Europe' were enormous. Luckily he did not make it. The allies France, England, America and Russia fought us down – actually 'bombed us back into the stoneage' - a term that was invented by the English, because it was actually very difficult to beat our defensive systems. They decided to bomb down our cities and all the private citizens within. Most of our major cities really got wiped out. In Cologne the only building that kept standing was the Dome/the Cathedral, because the walls were being built in a grid-construction with a lot of holes in it. The bombs all went through and ruined only the inside.

In the 1950s after the war we were finally and with the inspiration of our friends able to build a solid state, a democracy and also could begin to become an economically strong nation again.

A part of our country was assigned to Russia and they made a socialist state of it that remained until 1989. 

The two parts of Germany experienced the end of the eastern socialist state very differently, and also the generations had various feelings about it. My father for example, born in 1928, grew up in the very east of Germany, almost Poland and he was so happy to watch the wall fall down, but at the same time crying, because everything was so different now 'over there'. I myself grew up near Bonn, born in 1973, and had no connection to the east whatsoever and thought 'ok… now what?' And a young woman from the east might have experienced the year 1989 as totally crazy and surreal, and also as very surprising of course. But we all, since then are trying to get to know each other.

And we are still living within the habbits and boundaries of our ancient tribes and kingdoms – we still have those various states in Germany (16) and they have different accents, their own cuisine, their own landscapes and their own ideas of a good time. The Bavarians are well known for their 'Octoberfest' and their clothes - eventhough those two things don't begin to describe them. I personally find the Bavarians/South Germans a little more conservative than the people in the western parts of Germany and they seem to drink even more beer than us folks in Cologne – mostly I already begin to feel drunk when I pass the 'Bavarian State Sign' on the highway. The people in Baden-Wuerttemberg are supposed to work a lot, and the people in Northrhine-Westphalia take things pretty easy and on top of that we don't cook – at least we don't seem to have a traditional cuisine. The people from northern Germany always seem to be pretty calm and laid back to me.

But what we are all good at is PARTYING! We can drink beer and whine and have a grand time! And there are many occasions over the year where we come together and let things go. When there is no traditional occasion, like carneval, we just make one up or adapt to one we saw somewhere else! The Christopher Street Day, the Love Parade, the Pope dropping by, the soccer world-championships - whatever it may be – we don't really care!

Soccer is like in all the other European countries our favourite sport – or better: Watching it while drinking beer is one of our favourite leisure activities – for men and women -, and also the Formula One races are quite popular. Tennis not so much anymore since our two heroes stopped playing (Boris and Steffi). And I have the feeling that basketball will come up much stronger over the next years.

Economically we came out of the industrialisation as experts in machineries, cars, electronics and chemistry.

We are pretty good at doing things properly! I think we can nationwide agree on that. But the stress lies on 'things'. What we have not been so good at – I think – since after the war, is entertainment and arts. There are quite a few exceptions, but in general I think we still have to find our ways back to emotions and atmospheres that human beings really like to positively enjoy – in movies, in books, in music, in paintings, in comedy - everywhere. I think we are still trying too hard to find out how things are being done properly instead of daringly, enthusiastically and humanly accessible. But do realize that this is very much an opinion. And we are on our way!

And finally, when it comes to LGTB Life in Germany, I can say that for gay people Germany should be a pretty safe and fun place to be, at least in the cities. In Cologne there are days and streets in which you would find yourself thinking 'Oh… ok! And where are the straight people?!' But I must say I feel the acceptance of gay and bisexual ideas and lifestyles is quite superficial in many ways. Everyone knows 'they are there' and actually 'there are quite a lot of them' – so lets get it over with and not make a big deal out of it. They are all nice people and everyone has gay friends!

I think female sexuality - gay, bi and straight female sexuality is still very much a blur. It is in many ways unclear what women psychologically and physically really do and imagine to do. I don't think female gay/bi (or even hetero) sexuality is anywhere near a broad and clear understanding or even an integration. 'We' (all women) need to talk and write a lot better about sexuality, more practical and a lot clearer - not neccessarily more often or 'dirtier' or more revolting.

Legally same-sex marriage is not possible, but gays do have the option to sign on a 'registered partnership' and the rights on taxes, inheriting and hospital visits are as following – I called my gay lawyer-friend to ask her about 'the proper rules' and she knocked me down with words and documents like only lawyers can – so here is my simple version of it, but I am still recovering!

Taxes: not the same as in marriages (no benefits through the partnership)

Financial caretaking: as complicated as in marriages

Inheriting: as complicated as in marriages, but not a good as in marriages

Hospital visits: as in marriages

Adoption is possible, but the qeues are impossible. Same-sex couples practically cannot adopt (German babies).

The country does not have a clue whether it is good for a child to be raised by two women or by two men. And I must say – being adopted myself – when it comes to adoption it is all figured out what the adopting parents can and cannot do, what the biological parents can and cannot do, but it is mostly only assumed what the kids feel and want to feel. I guess for people who want to bring forward same-sex adoption rights there will have to be a lot of talking and studying about kids who have actually been risen by same-sex couples or in different-race families to figure out how well this works, before this country can/will decide about different laws and attitudes.

What I find very special about Germany is it's location within the European Union: There is hardly a country with so many neighbours and neighbourly relations as Germany. Our neighbours are Poland, the Tschech Republic, Austria, Switzerland, France, Luxembourg, Belgium, the Netherlands and Denmark. We have all been involved with each other during those pretty crazy and bloody centuries and now we have to get to know each other, beyond those funny prejudices we all have, to be able to enjoy our various talents. I know many of those neighbours as very lovable, very interesting and typically annoying people! They are like sisters and brothers: A piece of work, but very good to have after all! So keep those portraits coming! All of them have been quite enjoyable so far!

[Learn more about the novelist Andra Toian and her writings on the official website www.andratoian.eu.]